when i responded to james

[i commented on his blog.]

your honesty mirrors and challenges mine, james. i too am happy here, despite the fact that i feign such desire to get out of here. if we could only keep all the people together and travel like an absurd sitcom...season one, season two...just continue on, on and on and on and on and never grow apart, only closer, while everyone knows this is how it must be! this is how it must be! but, alas, this is how it must be, and while we will all be alone in our new little places we will all have each other because nothing can ever take back how we all changed and affected each other, and that, my dear dwindling solipsist friend, is beauty. beauty, beauty, beauty.

--

some twisted hand of fate spun this web that somehow brought all of us - everyone and anyone who has ever so much as quivered the delicate nylon - together with the knowledge that one day the web's strength would be tested as we all spread out to different parts of the country, our minds following our bodies, fated to be distracted by everything college has to offer and bequeath upon us, while all the time hoping that we won't be too distracted to forget where and who we came from.

but what is beautiful is that we are always alone, have always been alone, and will always be alone, in the end. it pains me to say and think of how much i'll miss this web of people, but the web is made up of unlimited individuals who all bear the mark of whatever we all had. so this web is truly unescapable, in reality. and who knows what will bring us all back together.