when i was hopelessly poor

lord.

i miss you/her so much.

to me, every day and every minute and every hour and every span of time is merely marked by how long it is until i see you again. two weeks from friday i will see you. yes, if i had a choice i would never leave your arms (i speak grandly; practically, of course, we'd have to be separate for some things. showers, working, to cool down because of the intense intense heat). but i do not care that it is only for two days, effectively, that i will see you. that fact that your reality will be reaffirmed again and again for me until we will be together for good keeps me going.

my body is restless inside because you are not sitting here next to me, because i cannot smell you in the air, because i cannot stretch my arm out and touch you, because i cannot hold your face and kiss you.

you are so truly in everything i see and touch, whether i mentally associate you with something or not. you are just there, almost as if part of you is constantly harboring inside my fingers and just behind my eyes.

but thinking about the ephemeral state of time makes things better because, honestly, life is so very long and now goes running fast into the past like wild horses over the hills at sunset until i am holding your hand and looking into your eyes and never having to let you go.